My Chamber Of Secrets

Wednesday, June 09, 2010

And slowly it walks into my life.. making everything perfect!

And slowly it walks into my life… making everything perfect

I remember the day I first learnt to ride the bicycle. Being the younger of the two siblings I learnt on my older brother’s tiny cycle. I believe the day a child learns to ride the cycle is one of his most memorable ones. Because it is not merely the riding of the cycle, to him, it signifies freedom and independence. Freedom, because it is the first time in his life that he has control over something. And obviously, independence comes with freedom. I still remember the feeling when I realized that my dad had left the back of my cycle and I was on my own. I remember the chirping of the birds and best was the way the breeze felt on my chubby face. My heart was filled with immense happiness. I kept on cycling on the straight road till there came a turn and confused to the core I bumped into something coming to a halt in a major crash. The way I walked back home with knees scraped and bleeding yet a radiant smile on my face still makes me very nostalgic. The smile on my dads face is even more memorable. The way he helped me get back home with the cycle and the one sentence he uttered is etched in my memory. He said, now my daughter will be able to drive an airplane too. These words made me so proud. I cant tell you how I felt as an eight year old. From that day on, every waking hour of the day was spent on the cycle for the next entire year.

After that I have had two brand new cycles of my own. But it didn’t bring me that much happiness. As I walk out of the Honda showroom after selecting the color of my brand new first moped and helping my mom climb down the stairs memories flash by. If you have been to pune, you would agree with this statement. A person without a vehicle in pune is handicapped. For the past three years that I have been living in Pune I owned a bicycle. The road to and from college is not much and I enjoyed riding it early morning. But I particularly remember the monsoons. The way water was sprayed on me everytime a vehicle passed by, the stray dogs running behind me early morning are really special memories. The feelings when all my friends went somewhere but I couldn’t, the way my brother humiliated me in front of my friends, the way I had to beg him or anyone else when I had to be dropped anywhere have made me a changed person.

And now slowly the much awaited moped walks into my life. Its brand new feeling and its cute horn somewhat assure me that everything is going to be perfect now. And the first ride on the bike does not fail to give me the same feeling of independence that I first experienced with my cycle

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Tears...Of Happiness!

A few days back me and my friends had a discussion about ‘tears of happiness’ Some of us believed it was foolish and impossible to cry when one was happy. And some of us thought it was possible as eyes give the true reflection of what one feels. According to them, if one wanted to really know how a person felt about something, you just had to look deep in that person’s eyes. It was possible and natural to cry when happy as when emotions overflow, inexpressible in words they are bound to come out in some way. So tears might be one of it.
That night, before bed I happened to read ‘The gift of the Magi’ by O. Henry. The story is as follows :
One dollar and eighty-seven cents. That was all. And sixty cents of it was in pennies. Pennies saved one and two at a time by bulldozing the grocer and the vegetable man and the butcher until one's cheeks burned with the silent imputation of parsimony that such close dealing implied. Three times Della counted it. One dollar and eighty- seven cents. And the next day would be Christmas.
There was clearly nothing to do but flop down on the shabby little couch and howl. So Della did it. Which instigates the moral reflection that life is made up of sobs, sniffles, and smiles, with sniffles predominating.
While the mistress of the home is gradually subsiding from the first stage to the second, take a look at the home. A furnished flat at $8 per week. It did not exactly beggar description, but it certainly had that word on the lookout for the mendicancy squad.
In the vestibule below was a letter-box into which no letter would go, and an electric button from which no mortal finger could coax a ring. Also appertaining thereunto was a card bearing the name "Mr. James Dillingham Young."
The "Dillingham" had been flung to the breeze during a former period of prosperity when its possessor was being paid $30 per week. Now, when the income was shrunk to $20, though, they were thinking seriously of contracting to a modest and unassuming D. But whenever Mr. James Dillingham Young came home and reached his flat above he was called "Jim" and greatly hugged by Mrs. James Dillingham Young, already introduced to you as Della. Which is all very good.
Della finished her cry and attended to her cheeks with the powder rag. She stood by the window and looked out dully at a gray cat walking a gray fence in a gray backyard. Tomorrow would be Christmas Day, and she had only $1.87 with which to buy Jim a present. She had been saving every penny she could for months, with this result. Twenty dollars a week doesn't go far. Expenses had been greater than she had calculated. They always are. Only $1.87 to buy a present for Jim. Her Jim. Many a happy hour she had spent planning for something nice for him. Something fine and rare and sterling--something just a little bit near to being worthy of the honor of being owned by Jim.
There was a pier-glass between the windows of the room. Perhaps you have seen a pier-glass in an $8 flat. A very thin and very agile person may, by observing his reflection in a rapid sequence of longitudinal strips, obtain a fairly accurate conception of his looks. Della, being slender, had mastered the art.
Suddenly she whirled from the window and stood before the glass. her eyes were shining brilliantly, but her face had lost its color within twenty seconds. Rapidly she pulled down her hair and let it fall to its full length.
Now, there were two possessions of the James Dillingham Youngs in which they both took a mighty pride. One was Jim's gold watch that had been his father's and his grandfather's. The other was Della's hair. Had the queen of Sheba lived in the flat across the airshaft, Della would have let her hair hang out the window some day to dry just to depreciate Her Majesty's jewels and gifts. Had King Solomon been the janitor, with all his treasures piled up in the basement, Jim would have pulled out his watch every time he passed, just to see him pluck at his beard from envy.
So now Della's beautiful hair fell about her rippling and shining like a cascade of brown waters. It reached below her knee and made itself almost a garment for her. And then she did it up again nervously and quickly. Once she faltered for a minute and stood still while a tear or two splashed on the worn red carpet.
On went her old brown jacket; on went her old brown hat. With a whirl of skirts and with the brilliant sparkle still in her eyes, she fluttered out the door and down the stairs to the street.
Where she stopped the sign read: "Mne. Sofronie. Hair Goods of All Kinds." One flight up Della ran, and collected herself, panting. Madame, large, too white, chilly, hardly looked the "Sofronie."
"Will you buy my hair?" asked Della.
"I buy hair," said Madame. "Take yer hat off and let's have a sight at the looks of it."
Down rippled the brown cascade.
"Twenty dollars," said Madame, lifting the mass with a practised hand.
"Give it to me quick," said Della.
Oh, and the next two hours tripped by on rosy wings. Forget the hashed metaphor. She was ransacking the stores for Jim's present.
She found it at last. It surely had been made for Jim and no one else. There was no other like it in any of the stores, and she had turned all of them inside out. It was a platinum fob chain simple and chaste in design, properly proclaiming its value by substance alone and not by meretricious ornamentation--as all good things should do. It was even worthy of The Watch. As soon as she saw it she knew that it must be Jim's. It was like him. Quietness and value--the description applied to both. Twenty-one dollars they took from her for it, and she hurried home with the 87 cents. With that chain on his watch Jim might be properly anxious about the time in any company. Grand as the watch was, he sometimes looked at it on the sly on account of the old leather strap that he used in place of a chain.
When Della reached home her intoxication gave way a little to prudence and reason. She got out her curling irons and lighted the gas and went to work repairing the ravages made by generosity added to love. Which is always a tremendous task, dear friends--a mammoth task.
Within forty minutes her head was covered with tiny, close-lying curls that made her look wonderfully like a truant schoolboy. She looked at her reflection in the mirror long, carefully, and critically.
"If Jim doesn't kill me," she said to herself, "before he takes a second look at me, he'll say I look like a Coney Island chorus girl. But what could I do--oh! what could I do with a dollar and eighty- seven cents?"
At 7 o'clock the coffee was made and the frying-pan was on the back of the stove hot and ready to cook the chops.
Jim was never late. Della doubled the fob chain in her hand and sat on the corner of the table near the door that he always entered. Then she heard his step on the stair away down on the first flight, and she turned white for just a moment. She had a habit for saying little silent prayer about the simplest everyday things, and now she whispered: "Please God, make him think I am still pretty."
The door opened and Jim stepped in and closed it. He looked thin and very serious. Poor fellow, he was only twenty-two--and to be burdened with a family! He needed a new overcoat and he was without gloves.
Jim stopped inside the door, as immovable as a setter at the scent of quail. His eyes were fixed upon Della, and there was an expression in them that she could not read, and it terrified her. It was not anger, nor surprise, nor disapproval, nor horror, nor any of the sentiments that she had been prepared for. He simply stared at her fixedly with that peculiar expression on his face.
Della wriggled off the table and went for him.
"Jim, darling," she cried, "don't look at me that way. I had my hair cut off and sold because I couldn't have lived through Christmas without giving you a present. It'll grow out again--you won't mind, will you? I just had to do it. My hair grows awfully fast. Say `Merry Christmas!' Jim, and let's be happy. You don't know what a nice-- what a beautiful, nice gift I've got for you."
"You've cut off your hair?" asked Jim, laboriously, as if he had not arrived at that patent fact yet even after the hardest mental labor.
"Cut it off and sold it," said Della. "Don't you like me just as well, anyhow? I'm me without my hair, ain't I?"
Jim looked about the room curiously.
"You say your hair is gone?" he said, with an air almost of idiocy.
"You needn't look for it," said Della. "It's sold, I tell you--sold and gone, too. It's Christmas Eve, boy. Be good to me, for it went for you. Maybe the hairs of my head were numbered," she went on with sudden serious sweetness, "but nobody could ever count my love for you. Shall I put the chops on, Jim?"
Out of his trance Jim seemed quickly to wake. He enfolded his Della. For ten seconds let us regard with discreet scrutiny some inconsequential object in the other direction. Eight dollars a week or a million a year--what is the difference? A mathematician or a wit would give you the wrong answer. The magi brought valuable gifts, but that was not among them. This dark assertion will be illuminated later on.
Jim drew a package from his overcoat pocket and threw it upon the table.
"Don't make any mistake, Dell," he said, "about me. I don't think there's anything in the way of a haircut or a shave or a shampoo that could make me like my girl any less. But if you'll unwrap that package you may see why you had me going a while at first."
White fingers and nimble tore at the string and paper. And then an ecstatic scream of joy; and then, alas! a quick feminine change to hysterical tears and wails, necessitating the immediate employment of all the comforting powers of the lord of the flat.
For there lay The Combs--the set of combs, side and back, that Della had worshipped long in a Broadway window. Beautiful combs, pure tortoise shell, with jewelled rims--just the shade to wear in the beautiful vanished hair. They were expensive combs, she knew, and her heart had simply craved and yearned over them without the least hope of possession. And now, they were hers, but the tresses that should have adorned the coveted adornments were gone.
But she hugged them to her bosom, and at length she was able to look up with dim eyes and a smile and say: "My hair grows so fast, Jim!"
And them Della leaped up like a little singed cat and cried, "Oh, oh!"
Jim had not yet seen his beautiful present. She held it out to him eagerly upon her open palm. The dull precious metal seemed to flash with a reflection of her bright and ardent spirit.
"Isn't it a dandy, Jim? I hunted all over town to find it. You'll have to look at the time a hundred times a day now. Give me your watch. I want to see how it looks on it."
Instead of obeying, Jim tumbled down on the couch and put his hands under the back of his head and smiled.
"Dell," said he, "let's put our Christmas presents away and keep 'em a while. They're too nice to use just at present. I sold the watch to get the money to buy your combs. And now suppose you put the chops on."
The magi, as you know, were wise men--wonderfully wise men--who brought gifts to the Babe in the manger. They invented the art of giving Christmas presents. Being wise, their gifts were no doubt wise ones, possibly bearing the privilege of exchange in case of duplication. And here I have lamely related to you the uneventful chronicle of two foolish children in a flat who most unwisely sacrificed for each other the greatest treasures of their house. But in a last word to the wise of these days let it be said that of all who give gifts these two were the wisest. O all who give and receive gifts, such as they are wisest. Everywhere they are wisest. They are the magi.

When I finished reading this story, I was filled with immense happiness. I suggested this story to a couple of my friends(guys included) they experienced the same. I believe we any of us had been in Della’s or Jim’s place we’d have tears of happiness in our eyes. As there is nothing more deeply touching than knowing there is someone who is ready to sacrifice his dearest belonging for you. Nothing purer and sensitive! I wish you lots of tears of happiness!

Monday, March 30, 2009

A few of my Favorite things….

Sitting at my study table, I am trying to understand some Economic theory of Cost and Production. I am fed up. It irritates me to no end of this earth when I don’t understand something in economics. Its my favorite subject. I am irritated and feel like throwing this module somewhere. Dads phone rings, “ When the dog bites, when the bee stings, or when I am feeling sad… I simply remember a few of my favorite things” This song unconsciously makes me think of my favorite things.
1. A neatly tied up present.
2. The brightest smile on seeing me which tells me I’ve made a day.
3. Caring look in the eyes.
4. A warm well timed hug
5. Head massage
6. getting wet in the rains
7. A perfect winter morning
8. A perfect cup of coffee in BMCC canteen (something extremely rare)
9. A call asking for the ‘pleasure’ of my company
10. A tough basketball match which leaves me exhausted
11. A tallied balance sheet!
12. A small undisturbed nap
13. A nice movie on a lazy Sunday afternoon
14. Family dinners

AND

15. Working hard on something that I like.

The ring tone trails off… “… and then I Don’t feel SO bad”

Try it… it works :)

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Girly things and me?

Have you ever been a tomboy? Have you ever thought wearing jewellery and wearing cute girly clothes was nothing of your ‘type’? If yes, welcome to my club!
Long time ago… or may be not so long ago also I was in a similar state. May be even worse. For people thought I was a guy. They didn’t let me enter girls toilets! Time passed… and gradually I changed.
Today I am oiling my long hair and looking at some old school time recordings with school friends. “look, that’s Adya!” they all shout on the top of their voices and giggle. I am embarrassed. I mean, I agree I was a total disaster. I just didn’t fit in a girls convent school of all places. But the worst is yet to come. They are ready to share the reason for their laughter. Did I tell you? My parents are also watching those recordings with us. My friends are fighting amongst themselves on who tells the incident in the funniest way… finally they settle on one chick. She gets up and imitates the way I used to stand then. She tells me that one particular day back in school, when everyone was getting ready to get in the lines for the morning assembly, they all noticed a ‘hot n handsome’ guy standing with his back to them in the school corridor. They were excited. Oh ya, it’s a rare sight to see a guy in a girls school! They all pushed this typically girly girl to check him out and introduced. She checks him out from behind. She is already making guesses on how he looks. He is amazingly tall, with sexiest legs, toned muscles and well tanned skin. She readies herself for the move. Breathes in and taps him on shoulder. She goes, Hey! So what bought to this school? The guy looks back at her in surprise and says, am I not supposed to be here for assembly? Ya.. don’t even try guessing.. it was me in shorts back from basketball practice.. with a perfectly stinky sweaty body.
Imagine my embarrassment when this incident is shared in front of my parents. There’s no need to share their reaction. You’ll can very well imagine it. :P
But in the past few days, every time I go shopping I stumble upon something cute. Yes, its GIRLY and I find it cute. Every time I go shopping I come across a cute pendant or a chain. Yes, I am falling in love with this particular girly accessory (unbelievable?! TOTALLY). Presently, my pocket money doesn’t permit me to splurge on it. But it definitely makes me want to start earning as soon as possible. It even has the cunningness to pop in my dreams every now and then! I cant wait to lay my hands on something that pretty. Most probably that will be the first thing I buy after I get a nice salary J
Oh yes, did I tell you? It has helped make my parents and friends believe that I am a perfectly normal human being with girly cravings.

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Golden days!

I am 16 going on 17.. people call these days the "golden days" of life. Earlier i thought it was just a saying but today being 16 i know what it really means. A life full or freedom 'apni marzi ka raja' in short. Being 16 is just so wonderful. Finally out of school after 12 yrs!! No more the teacher's watchful eyes to scare us and no more detentions! Exams are completely out of the question. There is no compulsion to go to college.. and even more even if there is.. no compulsion to attend lectures! No need at all to maintain notebooks and have all the notes up-to-date! It feels just so good to do whatever we feel. No more does the alarm clock croak early morning to get me 'ready'. Because now there is no definition for the word 'ready' .Ready no more means polished shoes,ironed clothes and neatly combed hair! We have the freedom to define 'ready' And yes how can i forgot.. We are full of hormones.. Making us think the unthinkable... racy and wild imaginations..Limitless again! It suddenly feels like nothing is impossible to achieve.. even the top rank in my whole college which boasts of having 700 students!Woah! it would just be so great to continue with life like this! As i am collecting sheep..thinking about this lovely life.. i suddenly remember I have to register myself for the CA entrance exam and that this life will really come to an end in just a matter of 12 months and the struggle TO BE will start! Uh huh.. its hard to digest but thats how it is going to be...........

Friday, November 23, 2007

Life......

When I was in the Sr.Kg I used to wait with excitement for the only two long vacations we get in India.. one is the summer vacations (my favrouite) and the other is the diwali vacations. The reason I longingly waited for these vacations was I would get to visit my native place in Satara district.. Koregaon. We have a huge wada there, built by my great grand father. I have learnt to walk in that house. I have learn to have fun and most importantly enjoy life!!!
Earlier when I used to visit here... I still remember my grand mother waiting for me in the main entrance of our wada.... waiting with her eyes sparkling to see her grand children... whom she saw just twice or sometimes just once in the whole year!!! I remember her hugging me and seeing how tall I have grown with proud eyes. She called me Judge-kumari.
This year I was visitng my grand-mother after a good long gap of two years. I still expected her to do all the things I've described above. As soon as I reached my native place.... I ran to the entrance to find nobody waiting for me as eagerly as my grand mother did.... and then I realised.. Oh yes! now she is 85 yrs old.. and how can I expect her to be all the same? I made an effort to hide my disappointment and entered her room.. she lay there... now merely any skin on her bones... silently sleeping. I think she was disturbed by my presence as she opened her eyes.. and looked at me like someone she didnt know at all.
A little surprised I asked her.... "Aajji, did you recognise me???" and to shatter the little hope I had, she answered...."who's daughter are you?" I tried to link her. But she had forgotten my dad too!!!! her youngest son!!!!!!!
And then I realised, sometimes life is so strange a mother who nurtures and provides all her care to her child can forget him so easily. Phew!

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Hey!!!

Hey everyone I have scored 84% in my SSC exams.. and i have also topped my skool in marathi with 85 marks!